Asleep In the Bread Aisle

My Story

  “An Unexpected Turn of Events” 

On the blistery cold night of January 16, 2009, three days before my birthday, I suffered a serious spinal cord injury in the middle of a hockey game. I played hockey for the AAA Chicago Fury U16 travel hockey team during the 2008-2009 season. I had played hockey since I was five years old. It still feels so weird to say I “played” hockey. It used to be the only thing I could ever see myself doing. I guess when you have your sights set on something for so long, for example playing division 1 college hockey, it’s hard to imagine doing anything different.

I was billeting with a family in Naperville, Illinois to be able to play for the Fury. In the middle of the season we attended the NAHL Top Prospects tournament in Ann Arbor, Michigan. In our 1st day of the tournament, January 16th, and second game of the day, late at night, we faced the Dallas Penguins on the main ice surface at the Ann Arbor Ice Cube arena. I’ve replayed this night over and over again in my head as it was the biggest turning point in my life. As I carried my bag into the rink that night, nothing felt any different.  I can still feel that familiar weight as the straps hang heavily on my shoulder and I clutch my two hockey sticks in my hand.

Upon reaching the locker room, I’m greeted by my teammates, the familiarity and goofing around. The unique smell of hockey gear and sweat is the aroma that fills the room. We go through the regular routine of stretching, off-ice exercises, and then getting suited up before the coach comes in to speak. The music playing in the background is Flashing Lights by Kanye West as I focus in on the task ahead. Once we hear the horn sound, calling us to the ice we rise up and huddle together with our hands in and say a team chant before filing out of the locker room yelling obscenities, and a dialect I can only describe as team lingo. Walking to the sounds of skates clacking, I jump up and down a few times before I reach the doors. Then with a deep breath and long slow exhale I follow my teammates and storm onto the ice.

Unlike a regular hockey game, in the tournament we played two 25 minute halves instead of three 17 minute periods. A little past halfway through the first half, through a few shifts, we were down 2-0 and I kept telling myself, “Get your head in this, and make something happen.” I couldn’t shake this strange feeling that had me unable to give my usual effort. I remember someone saying that when you aren’t giving 100% is when injuries happen. Unfortunately, my injuries tend to follow the opposite trend. A line change came in the middle of play and my line mates Tim and Danny and I jumped on the ice. I located the puck in the offensive zone, got my feet moving as fast as I could, and fore checked as hard as I could into the zone.

Now, I have always been the quickest, fastest, most agile skater or at least among the top two on my team; I take pride in my speed. You could say I was on a “break-neck” pace, skating into the offensive zone; I had a bead on the puck carrier. Somewhere between the tops of the circles and the hash marks as I dug my skates into the ice to turn towards the puck carrier, something happened that I still do not quite remember. In the sport of hockey, an inch one way or the other could result in a win or a loss, despair or immortal glory, and sometimes a little patch of ice can make a big difference. I went from skating as hard as I could to sliding head-first at an alarming rate with the end-boards approaching very quickly. Only after did I assume that I lost an edge and tripped. I caught a quick glance ahead and, not quickly enough, I tried to get my arms in front of my head to brace my neck and then it all went black for a second.

I opened my eyes quickly, I think, with a searing headache. With my ears ringing, I expected to pop up. I quickly recognized that I couldn’t move anything and as I lay crumpled on the ice I realized I was in a bit of trouble. I yelled for assistance as I could see the play going up the ice. Then the referees arrived, and then the paramedics, then everything went by in a blur. I remember the doctor I lived with asking me to identify his touch on different parts of my body and I had to keep saying no. I hear my dad telling me he is there, and I see my mom crying uncontrollably on the other side of the glass of the end-boards. I try to mouth the words, “I’ll be alright.” Once I was finally on the spine-board, they moved me to the ambulance and we were off to the nearest hospital. Luckily, we were only four miles from the University of Michigan’s hospital. At the University of Michigan hospital I received test after test while I was in excruciating pain despite morphine shots every five minutes. My nerve endings fired off the pain from my compressed spinal cord.

Four hours after my accident, I was able to see some teammates and family for a short period of foggy, morphine coated, “hang in there buddy” and “get well soon” exchanges before heading into surgery in the early morning hours. Going into surgery, I was scared out of my mind with a hundred thoughts rushing through my head before they put me under. From that first surgery I received the scar on the front of my neck. One of two scars I’d receive as a surgery entering the back of my neck would be necessary two weeks later to put in a metal cage to hold a replacement vertebra. I was in and out of consciousness the next several days, and I don’t even remember more than a few moments of my birthday three days later. That was how my three month stay in the hospital began.

I became one of the subjects for an episode of True Life based on athletes dealing with rehabbing their injuries during my hospital stay. I was one of the three subjects the show focused on. True Life discovered my situation and asked to begin following me. The night I was injured, the news spread like wild fire. Word spread through teams at the tournament. True Life had discovered my story because the initial story of my accident made The Detroit News. The episode showed my time in the hospital and my journey home. It was an interesting experience. Having cameras on me and that much attention directed towards me was a little annoying and unnerving at times, but it was nice to share my story. My episode aired in the fall of 2009, and I received a lot of attention for the show, and plenty of people contacted me. The most support I have received though has been from the hockey community. The hockey community is truly just one big family. I am grateful for all the donations, letters, get well cards, and visits in the hospital I received from friends, family, teammates, coaches, and all of those who cared. My room became littered with letters and the coolest part was all the autographed jerseys I received from teams around the country, NHL and other. The hockey community has been so helpful and thanks to some new friends I was able to meet my favorite player, a few NHL teams and other players as well as experiencing the Olympics. From the night I was injured up until now, it has been scary, and extremely difficult and each day is a new test, but with the support of friends, family, and the hockey community I am determined to skate again one day.

This experience, although taking away from me my strength, has helped me grow and become a stronger person. I believe that of anybody who would experience an injury such as this, I was the most capable to handle it because of previous experiences that have required me to grow up very early on. I have dealt with the roller coaster of emotions that has resulted from my injury and not being able to physically play hockey and do some of the little things we take for granted every day. This meant I had to be an adult and maintain my composure. What I have learned from this experience is to appreciate the little things, to really appreciate the things and people you love. I’ve learned that I always want to be involved in hockey. In fact I love this game even more because of the support I’ve had from my big extended family, the hockey community. I continue to stay involved through helping teach and encourage my brothers and assuming a student assistant role with the Miami University hockey team. This is a way of helping maintain my goal of making a career in hockey and keep my life on track. I know I’ll walk again one day, and when that day comes I’ll stand ten feet tall from this.